somanyfeelings | IC Inbox

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"I'm not fucking answering right now, I'm probably in the middle of something. Leave a goddamn message."

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[Gokudera is leaning back against a wall, chewing on a toothpick. He looks irritated. But irritated is kind of Gokudera's default expression...]

The fuck is so important you wanted to meet up over?

Gokudera-san, good evening. I will be frank with you.

[He takes a deep breath and sets his bag down. He could just keep carrying it but having a bag on your shoulder filled with lots of heavy books just isn't good. Best to leave that for later.]

I personally do not like you very much. I find you to be rude, disrespectful, and that habit of yours is not good for anyone's health. While I do not wish to apologize for our first meeting, I will say that I would like to propose a compromise or a truce of sorts.

[Rei fixes his glasses.]

Nagisa-kun has made me aware of your feelings and your relationship status with Makoto-senpai. To continue to act as we do toward each other will only hurt him and I have no desire to do that.

I would like to hear your thoughts.

[Gokudera thinks he was right to save his cigarette for later. His eye twitches. He's going to need it more after this conversation.]

Look, you prissy, pompous son of a bitch, don't fucking flatter yourself, you're not that fucking important to me and you can't hurt my fucking feelings that much. I don't give a fuck what you do, and there's plenty of people I don't like back home that I have to work on a team with. I was already working under that assumption. Whatever you need to tell yourself to get the fuck over yourself, be my guest. You're a dickbag and we don't like each other and that's fine. It doesn't have to be a federal fucking issue, and I'm not going to go ranting to your boyfriend about how much I don't like you.

This is not about me. This is about Makoto-senpai.

[His fists clench and then he closes his eyes, letting his body relax. Anger won't help here. He can't get angry.

Rei looks exhausted but he pushes that aside.]

We don't have to say a word and it hurts him. I will believe that you care enough about him to want to try to do all you can to see that he doesn't suffer. This is far bigger than us and I want to get past this for him because he has been too good a person to both of us for this kind of trouble.

Like I said, I wasn't the one who dragged him into the middle in the first place. Now if all you called me out here for was to witness you putting on your big girl panties and getting over yourself to fix a problem YOU caused, I've got better things to do.

[Gokudera shoves his hands in his pockets and turns to stomp off towards the Wall.]

[He rushes forward to grab his shirt, refusing to let him go.]

Look! I am trying to find a way for us to get past this! Why don't you get over yourself as well so we can do what is best for the people we care about! I have seen enough pain from the people I love to not want to cause anymore of it! Why don't you!

[At the hand on his shirt, Gokudera freezes ... before hiss eyes narrow and his voice becomes a low growl.]

Well you could have fucking fooled me. Maybe next time don't open with a volley of insults then act like your the better person, because you fucking aren't, dickbag. Now get your fucking hand off me.

Do you care about him! Answer me that!

[He refuses to let go of him currently. He needs Gokudera to listen to him.]

[Gokudera blushes at that, though he kinda ALWAYS blushes when Makoto is brought up. He's still too angry to get too embarrassed though.]

And give you more ammunition? I don't fucking think so. Now fucking let me GO, I'm not gonna ask a third time!

You can hit me if you wish but I am telling you now that we are both being selfish and we are both in the wrong! I ran the math through my head so many times and I know that if we continue on like this then Makoto-senpai will only end up hurt! I am trying to get to know you and work past that for his sake!

Why don't you want to do the same for him!

[In lieu of an answer, Gokudera hauls his fist back to sock Rei across the jaw. He did warn him.]

[He stumbles back, letting go of him, his glasses falling off. Bringing his hand up, he looks over at him.]

Please. You can hit me all you wish to but I'm trying to do what is best for someone we both care about. I saw the pain on his face when I talked about this with him and I want to support you two being together as well.

I felt it fair to try to make amends or you would never believe that I was trying to be there for both of you.

[Gokudera puts pleanty of space between the two of them as soon as Rei lets go, backing against the wall like a cornered animal ready to bite someone's face off.]

You aren't trying to make amends, you aren't even fucking listening!

I heard you. I handled this badly and I made myself come off even worse than you already believe of me. What I meant to do was be honest and I only managed to mess everything up.

[He touches his face then squints as he tries to find his glasses, unable to see without them.]

I wasn't lying though. I am trying to fix things.

[Gokudera frowns, darting forward to grab Rei's glasses, press them into the other boy's palm, and then quickly move back to put space between them again. He doesn't like Rei at all, but he doesn't hate him near enough to be needlessly cruel.]

Don't quit your day job.

[He blinks then cleans the glass before putting them back on.]

We don't get along but you've been there for me twice now. I have been very ungrateful and I apologize for that.

I dislike you, I don't hate you, there's a big difference there. I work with pleanty of people I don't like back home, in a life or death situation, how reliable they are matters more than if they're irritating.

That is the point though. Makoto-senpai will know we don't like each other and that will hurt him. I'm trying to compromise, find a way for us to get along.

[He sighs and goes to get his bag to sling over his shoulder.]

I apologize for wasting your time, Gokudera-san.

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