somanyfeelings | IC Inbox

No. That was impossible. There are ... rules, about children out of marriage. [He closes the cover on the piano keys, taking a moment to just breathe. He hasn't really talked about his father to anyone really, not since he ... found out the truth about everything that happened.] Can't inherit. That kinda thing. You think it'd be obvious - I'm not exactly 100% Italian, but I was still the last to find out. He wanted me to feel like I belonged.

[Makoto watched him as he spoke, watching his facial expression and body language. His own expression grows sympathetic towards Gokudera's troubles. To not feel like he belonged must have hurt him so bad. It was no wonder he could put up a wall so easily.]

But then you found the...uh...Vongola family, right? With Tsuna...?

Yeah. I tried to kill the boss when I first met him, did I ever mention that part? [Gokudera smiles a bit ruefully at the memory.]

[He shakes his head at that.]

Why?

[Even though he knew Gokudera was fairly violent, from what he'd seen of the boy, he couldn't imagine him really killing anyone. Fighting with all of his strength, yes, but killing wasn't something he could so easily imagine, well, anyone doing.]

Eh, I had this idea in my head that if I could defeat him I'd be able to take his place, then I'd have to be recognized. [you know, nbd.]

It's possible. But instead, something better happened. See, when I was fighting him, I was kinda reckless. I didn't really care if I got hurt, but... even though I'd never met him really, even though the Tenth had every reason to hate me, he ... he cared. [Gokudera's voice goes very quiet, and he leaned against Makoto's shoulder.] He cared if I got hurt.

[He reached up and placed a hand onto his shoulder and rubbed it comfortingly. It was no wonder he got excited when mentioning "The Tenth". It seemed like Tsuna was the first person to accept him.]

I'm happy that you were able to find someone that cared...

You don't deserve to be lonely, Hayato. You're a good person and you try your best all of the time.

I can understand why he cared about you.

[Tsuna truly was. What was for Tsuna an act of basic human decency had meant so much to the boy who hadn't really experienced that before. A few minutes after trying to kill him, Gokudera was willing to die for him.] Mmm, I think you're a little biased there. [not that he's complaining.]

[He smiles, chuckling softly.]

You think so?

[The hand on Gokudera's shoulders snakes its way across and he wraps his arm around his shoulders, pulling him in.]

I'll have to thank Tsuna for taking care of Hayato for me until I could meet him.

You'd get along with him. Everyone gets along with him, he's amazing. [There's never a trace of bitterness when Gokudera talks about Tsuna. The boss clearly hung the moon and put the earth into rotation as far as he's concerned.] He could do a lot to make a difference here.

[And he'd really like his two most favorite people in the world to meet and get along, though he doesn't doubt that the two would get along if they met. So he leans into Makoto's embrace, tilting his head back to place a small kiss on Makoto's jawline.] Sorry I kinda derailed us on the way back to the mansion and all.

[He nuzzles his face in his hair a bit, smiling softly. He really wanted to meet this Tsuna person that Gokudera spoke so highly about. It would be amazing to meet the person that helped make Gokudera who he was today. He was sure that he would like him a lot.]

I liked this detour. I got to learn a lot more about you and that's always a treat for me.

[While before they were dating, they didn't really know a lot of facts about each other's past, but they meshed well enough for that not to matter.]

You can ask me anything about myself, too. Though, it's really not as nearly exciting as what you have to say.

[Gokudera smiled a little as well, moving to stand. They could cuddle more at the mansion, with more comfortable places.]

Do you play any music?

[He stood up with Gokudera. Cuddling would be very nice.]

No, I don't play any instruments, but I guess I don't really have a bad voice.

Not that I sing in a choir or anything, but I can get good scores at karaoke.

I liked when you sang that song from the shows your little siblings watch. [He keeps a hand entwined with Makoto's for the rest of the walk, leaning against him, absolutely shamelessly enamoured.] ... It'd be nice to do something normal, like go to karaoke. I'm really bad at it though.

[He gave Gokudera's hand a gentle squeeze as they walked hand-in-hand towards the mansion He blushed slightly at the compliment giving a shy 'thanks'.]

It would be--

....

Ah! I have an idea! Since you play the piano, we could have a really make shift karaoke get together!

[The piano was versatile enough to play different songs and he loved hearing him play. It would be so much fun to sing along with his playing.]

I think I can match some songs you might know that have lyrics... [Gokudera grins.] Sounds like a second date to me.

[He smiles brightly in return and nods enthusiatically.]

Second date it is then!

[He bumped their shoulders playfully and let out a chuckle. He loved these moments with Gokudera because as abnormal their setting was, he could make it feel like home.]

[Gokudera is happy to talk about mostly inconsequential things about the rest of the walk, if only because he has a bad habit of getting lost in just the sound of Makoto's voice, in the green of his eyes, in the way that little smile makes Gokudera's heart skip a beat. Next thing he knows they're back at the mansion and ... well, he's just going to go up to his room unless Makoto objects.]

[Makoto could get talking when he wanted to. He felt so relaxed around Gokudera that it was easy to get lost in conversation and become a bit chatty. He liked seeing the subtle changes in Gokudera's expression at certain topics. It was as if he could make himself cozy in his mind so that he could know him through and through.

He followed him right up to his room without any hesitation. He was still amazed that all of this was held up by illusion. It probably wouldn't not amaze him, ever.]

[It was either amazing or frightening - especially when you got a chance to see what the place ACTUALLY looked like when Mukuro wasn't around... the extent of that guy's powers...

Of course, as it was, Gokudera smiled and nodded, and as soon as there was a break in the conversation, in the privacy of his room, he put his arms around Makoto's shoulders and gently pulled him down for another kiss.]

[Makoto blushed at the sudden kiss and bent over just slightly to compensate for Gokudera's height. He wrapped his own arms around his middle and pulled him in a bit more.

He couldn't help but smile with slight amusement underneath the kiss. He had a feeling Gokudera was waiting for a moment like this.]

[Maybe a little bit. Just a little bit.

And if he starts backing up to where is bed is, what of it? They were walking for like an hour, it'll be good to sit down. In a room with just the two of them. With no one who'd walk in.]

[Makoto followed his footsteps back towards the bed until they toppled back against the soft mattress. The fact that there was little to no possibility of a roommate walking in of them did give him peace of mind. He wanted to be considerate to Haru and if that meant rolling out to Gokudera's place to fulfill his own teenage needs, then, well. Here they were.

He was bent over more now that Gokudera was sitting on the bed and he was still standing.]

[Gokudera's hands tightened at the back of Makoto's shirt, trying to keep them there and not let them wander, because he was pretty sure they'd go right for his pants of he didn't keep them where they were... and ... and even if he was ready for that (which he was pretty sure he wasn't) he didn't have anything.

Still. Still. Acting only on instinct, he scooted back on the bed a bit more, tugging Makoto to come along with him, and keeping enough space open between his legs to fit the other boy.]

[Makoto moved forward, meeting his movements. As he settled between Gokudera's legs, kneeling on the bed, his heart started pounding. He suddenly became a little more aware and felt like a predator hunched over its prey.

His heart gave a hard thud upon thinking of that. For some reason, he didn't mind that image in his head, but he pushed it away as hard as he could.

But even though his mind was questioning their position, his body felt right at home and he continued to kiss his boyfriend with lasting affection.]

[Gokudera felt a little trapped as Makoto leaned over him, his back against the wall, Makoto blocking him in otherwise, but ... but instead of feeling, well, cornered or nervous, Gokudera felt a pleasant kind of anxious, all keyed up and ready for something that was certainly not a fight. He wanted more of it. So much more of it.]

Ah, ah... [when he finally had to breathe, everything was fuzzy and he felt a little dizzy from putting it off for so long, and he felt warm all over. Like before, when they'd been interrupted by Watanuki.] Makoto... [What was the right thing to say here? 'Yes', 'more'? He didn't want to push, but... he wanted more.]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]